Anxiety & Worry Tools

INTRO

Here are ideas to help your kids or students understand why they feel anxiety and tools to get back in control. The goal here is to help kids feel less like something is just "wrong with them" and recognize that they don't have to be as limited by anxiety as they have been.

Short on time? Need to teach this now?

No-Prep PowerPoint Available

HOW TO TEACH

1) Your Brain Wants to Help You

When you feel anxiety, it's your brain's misguided attempt to help you. This concept is powerful for kids- it helps them demystify why anxiety happens, and see that their brain is actually trying to help them by alerting them to danger, it's just gotten off track. It also helps kids separate themselves a little bit from what their brain does- they are not just their brains- and they can choose how they respond to messages their brain gives them.

Your brain is always scanning for danger to protect you. Fear and anxiety aren't bad! They help us know there is danger.

Have kids brainstorm what would happen if they never felt fear.

2) Sensitive Brains Can Sense Danger When There Isn't Any.

All of our brains are a little different. Some are more sensitive than others. This can be a strength.

Big

Being sensitive means you notice things quicker than others. You might be the first to notice how someone is feeling, if something is different, or if there is danger.

But with this strength also comes challenges. You might be too sensitive to danger and sense danger when there isn't any! People with big imaginations might also imagine TOO much danger and worry. The good news is these same things that can make you worry more than others, like having a sensitive brain or a big imagination, also come with strengths that are especially good at fighting worries!

But first, let's learn 3 ways we accidentally make worries GROW.

3) Worry Growers

#1 Ignoring:

When your brain sees danger, it tries to send you a message. It’s not fun to feel scared, so sometimes we try to get rid of it by ignoring it. But if you ignore fear, your brain thinks you aren’t getting the message, so it will keep trying to send it in bigger and stronger ways.

You might ignore painful feelings by:

Distracting yourself with things like video games or food.
Pretending you're okay when you're not.
Never talking about how you feel.

If we try to ignore fear all together, it grows stronger!

#2 Feeding:

Ignoring worries makes them grow, but TOO much attention can make them grow too! When we focus on our worries too much, it’s like we’re giving them food and they grow bigger!

We feed our worries with things like:

Constantly talking about our worries.
Only focusing on the bad, not the good.
Using our imaginations to think of the worst possible things that could happen.

#3 Avoiding:

Sometimes we avoid things if we’re scared of them, but avoiding things actually makes our fear grow bigger! Your ability to handle scary things is like a muscle. If you avoid anything that makes you uncomfortable, your muscle gets weaker. Soon you can handle less and less!

4) Worry Tools

#1 Mindfulness: I Welcome All Emotions

Instead of ignoring, we need to do the opposite. The opposite of ignoring is becoming mindful, or aware of, our emotions and welcoming them in.

Instead of ignoring, we need to do the opposite. The opposite of ignoring is becoming mindful, or aware of, our emotions and welcoming them in. When we ignore how we feel, the brain thinks we didn’t get the message so it will knock louder and harder. If you notice how you feel and welcome it in at the first “knock” the worry doesn’t have to grow so big, and it won’t stay so long.

Because people with sensitive brains are great at noticing things, they can be especially good at noticing how they feel before it grows too big. Everyone can learn to become mindful of their feelings.

First, notice how your body feels and what thoughts you have with different emotions. How does YOUR body react when you’re worried?

Do you shake?
Does your stomach hurt?
Do you have trouble sleeping?
Do you breathe fast?
Do you keep having thoughts of bad things happening?

Second, welcome in the feeling and let yourself feel it.

Some emotions are so uncomfortable, it’s hard to welcome them in! Here are some tips:

Take a deep breath. Breathing deeply helps your body calm down.
Move around. Walking, running, or jumping helps reset your brain & body.
Remind yourself that feelings don’t stay forever. Emotions never stay forever! They leave sooner than you think.

#2 Create Boundaries: I Have a Place for My Worries

We want to welcome in emotions, but we don’t want them to take over by feeding them! A great way to set boundaries with your worries is to use a worry box.

Here's how you do it:

Make a worry box. Find a box and decorate it if you’d like.
Put Worries in Box. Each time you have a worry, write or draw it and put it in the box.
Set a Worry Appointment. Set up a special time called a worry appointment. During this time you can open the box and talk about your worries with someone. When time is up, the worries go back in the box until the next appointment.

When you use a worry box your brain knows you got the message, but the worry doesn’t get to take over your life.

#3 Challenge Thoughts: I Ask for Help to See Clearer

Because BIG emotions make it hard to see clearly, we might need help from someone who can see clearer.

our brain sometimes distorts thoughts or plays tricks on us. It makes us think worries are bigger than they are.

Here are some questions to challenge your worries and catch the tricks:

How likely is it? An adult can help a child see how likely something is to happen. It’s usually not as likely as we think!
How bad would it be? Even if something bad does happen, it’s usually not as bad as we think it will be.
Can you handle what’s happening now? Worries are always about the future and what might happen. Try to only focus on what’s happening now.
You can do hard things. Even when bad things do happen, you can do hard things. It helps to remind yourself of hard things you’ve done before.
What else could happen? When we worry, we often think of the worst thing that could happen. But there are so many other possibilities! You can use your imagination to come up with positive outcomes.

#3 Confront: I Can Do Things That Scare Me

To confront your fears means you slowly do the things that scare you until they aren’t so scary anymore- this strengthens your muscle that helps you do scary things. Instead of doing a HUGE SCARY thing right away, we want to take little steps.

Summary:

Fear helps protect us. But fears & worries can grow too big.
Sometimes our brains don’t see things right, and we feel fear about things that aren’t really dangerous.
Having a big imagination or an extra sensitive brain can sometimes make people worry a lot.
We GROW our worries by ignoring, feeding, or avoiding our fears.
Instead of avoiding and not talking about how we feel, we can be mindful and welcome in our feelings.
Instead of letting worries take over, we can set boundaries with things like a worry box. We have a time and place for our worries.
When worries get too big, we can ask someone to help us challenge our thoughts and see how our brain might be tricking us.
We can use our imagination to think of what else could happen.
We can take baby steps to grow the muscle that helps us do scary things.

As always, if you'd like this lesson in a no-prep interactive format with animations & games, check out my store.

-Eve

Short on time? Need to teach this now?

No-Prep PowerPoint Available