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POSITIVE BODY IMAGE

For kids

INTRO

 

I wish we didn't need this lesson for kids, but we do. Kids are becoming dissatisfied with their bodies at younger and younger ages, and it's never too early to start correcting some of the unhealthy ideas that they will get from the media and others. The good news is, you really can make a difference by teaching them tools early on and you can give kids a better chance of combating these messages. 

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This is a fun easy way to approach the topic of body image with elementary aged kids.

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HOW TO TEACH

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1) Introduce Shape Comparison

I start by asking the kids to choose which shape is best. It can make it more interesting to ask the class to all agree on which shape is best. Of course, they aren't going to be able to agree because there isn't really one best shape or color.

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But then I ask them to imagine that these shapes are people, and all day long they see ads telling them what to look like. Do you think they'll start to dislike how the look? 

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Chances are they would all want to try to look like the purple heart. I then ask, what if they all tried to change to look the like purple heart? Do you think that would make them feel happier? This can lead to interesting discussions.

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Compare this to us, and how we have these amazing bodies that can do so many things, but we often start to think the only thing that matters is what our bodies look like. We too are bombarded with messages from the media, companies, and from each other about how we should look. A lot of really unhelpful myths get spread and perpetuated. 

2) Debunk Media Myths

Kids get really harmful messages pounded into them at every corner. We really see it start to affect them as they become teenagers, but they are getting and understanding these messages from a very young age. It helps to go through some common myths and debunk them.

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Myth #1: The most important thing about our bodies is what they look like.

Messages we all receive can reduce our worth and value to simply what our bodies happen to look like.​ The harder the messages spread, the more we can even start to hate our bodies just because they don't fit a certain standard. With this mentality, we completely ignore all the things our bodies can do. 

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Reality:  Our bodies don't exist just to be looked at. They are meant to DO things.

Have the kids discuss all the things their bodies can do. Talk about lots of different parts- what do your hands do? What does your nose do? What is your hair for? Get them thinking more about what their bodies actually are for, rather than just their appearance.

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Myth #2: There is one right way to look.

We can get the message that there is one particular kind of beauty, and if we just hit everything on that check list, then we'll be beautiful (and thereby increase our worth). But it's actually a lot more complicated than there being some objective checklist. 

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Reality:  There isn't only one kind of beauty.

Ideally, I don't want kids to think that beauty is the ultimate goal. But I also want them to understand how subjective beauty is. There isn't simply a checklist and you're either beautiful or you're not. Your brain is what decides what it finds beautiful and what it doesn't, and it doesn't just use what it sees. How someone makes you feel matters a lot more. 

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This isn't just feel-good mumbo jumbo, it's actually true. Have you ever known someone who was stereotypically beautiful. Fit everything on the media beauty ideal checklist? But once you got to know them they were cruel and unkind and soon it was almost as if their face changed. You might even feel a little repulsion when you see them. This is because the brain can detect what's on the inside, and it can actually change how you perceive their beauty. 

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The same goes for when you meet someone who initially doesn't really stand out, but after getting to know them they can become incredibly beautiful. And this kind of beauty can look all kinds of ways, not neatly in a one-size-fits-all checklist.

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Myth #3 You'll be happier if you change to fit what the media or others say to look like.

It seems like if we just change to fit that media ideal, we will be happier. But trying to do this can actually lower your self-esteem. You may want to have a child try to change one of the shapes to look more like the purple heart by drawing and coloring over it. 

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Reality:  The more you change yourself to what other say, the worse you will feel. You won't feel good if you aren't really being you.

We can't really be happy if we know we aren't being ourselves, and that includes trying to completely change our appearance just so people will like us. 

3) Teach tools to combat media messages

Next I teach 4 ways kids can arm themselves against these harmful messages and build a positive body image.

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Tip 1:  Make decisions based on HEALTH not APPEARANCE

Try posing a few questions like, "Why do we exercise? So we can look good, or so our bodies can feel good and be healthy?"

Eating healthy, exercising, and practicing good hygiene are all good things, but we can easily start to make all our decisions on how it will make us look. This can lead to dangerous habits like eating way too little or exercising way too much so we can fit an unrealistic ideal. Healthy bodies can look many different shapes and sizes.

Tip 2:  Focus on what your body can DO, not just what it LOOKS LIKE

Some of the things your body can do are almost like magic! It helps to think about the cool things your body can do, instead of just what it looks like. Some fun facts to include are:

  • Our bodies can heal themselves!

  • We can move our bodies just by thinking about it.

  • When we sneeze, it travels as fast as a car.

Have students add any more cool facts they can think of.​

Tip 3:  Stay true to your unique beauty

Remember, when we change to fit what others say, it makes our self esteem go down. When we embrace our own unique beauty, we will feel better about ourselves.

Tip 4: Don't spread harmful messages!

Unfortunately it is not just the media that makes us feel our appearance is all that matters. We spread that message too when we compare each other. It's never okay to make someone feel like they matter less because of what they look like. Your worth does not come from what you look like.

Note to teachers and parents:

In general, try not to focus  comments or compliments on what people look like. Even things that seem helpful like, "You're so skinny!" really come with a very harmful message- the message is that being skinny is good, it's important, and people notice. This is not a good message. They also can pick up on the alternative, not being skinny is bad. 

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How you talk about your own body is going to the strongest message kids get. If you hate your body, your kids are listening and they will know that what bodies look like matter a lot to you. From this, they will believe that what their bodies look like matter a whole lot. They will infer that you notice how their bodies look and they will feel a need to fit the crazy ideal you have for yourself. Please don't add to the negative messages!

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The best thing you can do is focus on all the amazing things your body and their bodies can do. Focus on making choices because they are healthy, not so you will look a certain way.  And even more importantly makes sure you give the message that worth is not tied to how bodies look. People of all shapes and sizes, of all levels of health and ability, all matter the same and it has nothing to do with their bodies.

Short on time? Need to teach this now?

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