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Size of the Problem

INTRO

 

This lesson idea was suggested to me by several people a couple years ago, but I didn't feel an urgency to create it until I was inspired my preschooler who...needs a little help in this area. This lesson is meant to help kids match the size of their reaction to the size of their problem. Here's how I teach it!

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HOW TO TEACH

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1) Story: "Boy Who Cried Wolf" (or similar story) 

I use a story of a girl who has HUGE reactions to small things like her brother standing in front of the TV, or not getting the color of popsicle she wanted. Her parents tire of responding to her overreactions, and when she then has an actual problem, no one comes to help her.  We discuss why people did rush to help when she had a big problem.

2) Discuss different sizes of problems and reactions.

Not all problems come in the same size, and neither do reactions. I explain what small, medium, and big problems look like. 

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Small

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Medium

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Big

We then talk about examples of small, medium, and large reactions.

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The goal is to get your reaction size to match your problem size.

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Make sure to emphasize that big reactions aren't problematic in and of themselves. In fact big reactions to big problems helps draw people in and can be a part of building healthy relationships. However, when your reactions frequently outsize your problems, this draws people away. 

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Practice going through several problems and reactions of different sizes to see if they can guess the size correctly.

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3) Explain why we sometimes overreact

  • We often overreact because we're tired, hungry, or not feeling well.

  • We might overreact because we haven't yet learned or practiced skills to calm ourselves down.

  • We also might be overreacting to small problems because something bigger is actually bothering us.

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4) Tips to stop overreacting

We focus on how to stop overreacting by changing what we do before, during, and after problems​.

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BEFORE: Prepare yourself before a problem even happens by keep your body and mind healthy with things like eating right, exercising, and limiting screens. Doing these things lowers your baseline level for overreacting. It's also helpful to watch for triggers you have and plan accordingly. For instance, if you find you always overreact when you play competitive board games, it might be better to play something else. If you find you always overreact when you're interrupted while playing video games, you might need to cut out some of your video game time.

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DURING: When are emotions are high, it's really hard to think and at clearly. That's why it's important to learn skills to self-soothe and calm down until the emotion settles. Some idea are:

  • Counting to 10

  • Taking deep breaths

  • Going for a walk

  • Drawing

  • Writing your feelings

  • Listening to calming music

  • Squeezing a stress ball.

 

AFTER: After a reaction, it's important to have a child look back and decide whether their reaction matched their problem size, and how this reaction affected themselves and others. Often when a child starts to notice that their oversize reactions are driving people away, they can become more motivated to work on calming skills. Here are some questions to have your students/kids ask themselves:

  • Did my reaction match my problem size?

  • How did my reaction affect others?

  • Did it drive people away?

  • Was I hungry or tired or not feeling well?

  • Is something else bothering me that I need to talk about?

  • Is there an activity I should avoid or limit?
     

5) Review...in a fun way!

Review of this concept is vital. They won't get it in one go. Each time a reaction happens, both appropriate and inappropriate, talk about whether the sizes matched. 

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I like to turn the review into an interactive way with my PowerPoint on the topic. Kids can click their answers about which sizes match which reactions, and they guide a student through learning to lower her overreaction baseline. You can see an example in the video below.

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I hope your students and/or kids benefit from this idea. And as always, if you need a no-prep quick way to teach this, please check out my PowerPoint on Size of the Problem in my store. 

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Thanks!

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Eve

Short on time? Need to teach this now?

© 2022 Eve Coates. 

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